this christmas, i never felt deserted nor too squeezed in a relationship to point of no escape and eternal misery. im happy.
just happy.
i guess i've been staring too much on the little, white spot in this very huge yet exquisite obra maestra-in-the-progress. i'm certain that God is currently working on it and for sure He wants to pat my shoulder and assure me, "everything's gonna be fine, my child. don't put too much pressure on yourself. i'm in control, remember?" i know He really is. i hate myself whenever i daydream about this particular stuff...makes me frustrated and leaves me on questioning things. but then, i want that moment to be intricately and perfectly designed, without blemish...a made-in-heaven plot, and the ONE's been exclusively hand-picked by my Lord.
rest assured it's going to happen. i'm gonna meet him (or have i? yihee!!!), but not yet soon; i'm sure it'll be wonderful and it would just make me stand in awe of God's mysterious ways in executing His best-laid plans for me. all i need to do now is to relax and according to Song of Songs (and it has been repeatedly reminding us all throughout the entire book) "...not to awaken love until the time is right..." agree? i don't need to bend the standards that God has set for me just to "check" if he's the right one for me.
yes, i'm happy. enjoying this feeling that i have right now but i have to clarify that i'm also not in an intimate relationship nor understanding with a particular person. i'm single. looking? nah...Someone's already doing that for me. actually He already knows who he is. i just have to pray without ceasing and trust my Lord...don't need to put it in my own hands.
i must remember, it's an obra maestra. surely God doesn't want to finish this beautiful work of art so quickly to satisfy my fleeting, empty desire for that little, white spot.
