kaya siguro hindi pa ako mapayagan ni Lord na mag-bible school ako kasi ang dami pa rin na unseen clutters sa buhay ko at nahihirapan akong walisin. nagiging white elephant na kasi kaya parang feeling ko part na siya ng buhay ko pero di naman pala dapat....
to better picture what i'm about to say, gagawan natin ng konting modification:
tipong ni-remind ako ng landlady na ayus-ayusin ko ung tinitirhan ko dahil darating yung talagang may-ari nung nirerentang bahay kong yun. tapos ung landlady na yun, nakita niya naaaaaaaaaapakadami kong kalat pa pala. i kept on insisting that i'm satisfied with where they are now. pero yun nga, i need to remove them pa rin kasi it's not pleasing...it doesn't count in the standards of the owner. kung di ko yun aalisin kaagad, in a day or two pag nakita yun ng may-ari, sibak ako sa tinitirhan ko. i was already given a chance to do what's necessary, and yet i still inclined my ear to my very own lies.
ayokong dumating yung araw na mangyari pa yun. i love living within the Lord's presence and how He works in my life. obedience is better than sacrifice talaga. the other way around will never work. even if i keep on thinking that by doing this and that would glorify Him, pero kung ako mismo eh sa personal kong buhay di ko naman nagglorify si Lord, everything that i've done will be in vain.
yung mga simpleng bagay di ko pa maayos, yun nga...napaka-simple na lang yun gawin di ko pa magawa. how much more pag nabigyan na ako ng mas malaki at mahirap na responsibility, eh di wala na? malulunod na lang ako sa hiya kasi in the first place, God will never give me greater opportunities to mature kasi di ako maalis sa primary level.
i truly believe that God is a God of abundance, and with that, i know that it also encompasses the principle of giving us abounding grace and mercy as we get transformed into His likeness. mahirap, pero there's Someone greater who can carry us to sail through the hardships that we encounter.
i'll be overcoming this by His grace!
