before the clock ticked at 12midnight yesterday, things kept rushing through my head with how am i gonna handle the expected life of a 23-year-old single lady. oh man, i remember how i used to anticipate and get jittery as my birthday gets closer. pero ngayon, kinakabahan ako. and i hate that feeling. it's like i need to stretch a bit the year just for me (and i have no idea how it will happen coz it's weird..) and let the others go through with the same, routinary 12 months of every year. eeew, weird ko na talaga.
i had a great celebration of my 23rd birthday. started it right by serving the Lord in the music team during our worship service. the message delivered by our pastor was very timely coz im in dire need of refreshing from the Lord everyday to move on, continue,and soar high like eagles...never give up INspite of the difficult circumstances and stresses i get engaged in. collectively, the congregation was prayed for and hopefully from that moment on we would cling to the promise that the Lord Jesus has assured us and never worry. after that i was being prayed for by our music director; thereafter i was also "cornered" by our youth pastor and his wife - this time truly the Lord had spoken to them because the prayer 100% encouraged me and captured what i really needed to hear.
greetings in forms of shout-outs, melodies, and casual ones also added as midday approached. after the necessary matters has already been given attention, i quickly went home and started fixing myself for a wedding. hindi akin ha...wish ko lang nakasulat sa last sentence ko, "..MY wedding." ha!
ok, ok...balik na tayo...nagiging nonsense na eh... so i dressed up, put make-up on, and headed to the venue.
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during the wedding, i've been asked (pressured so to speak) about a topic that is unavoidable to be brought up considering the age that i have just become. all i could give them was my innocent (naks), charming (yahoo!) smile and tell them, "wala pa eh. nagppray palang." tapos hindi pa sila naniniwala. haha! i wish! take note: hindi specific po yung taong pinagdadasal ko. i don't wanna turn out frustrated just because i didn't realize the standards that God wants for me. because i focused with my wants. puro "gusto ko" at hindi "gusto ni Lord"; my friends, this should not be.
same Body of Christ.
same calling.
same vision.
i just ask the Lord to continue to guard my emotions for that person coz with the situation right now, it's not getting any clearer (or is it?). di ko alam kung ikatutuwa ko yun o ikabahala. so i desire to leave it all at the footstool of my Lord. i don't want to do something and regret it coz i didn't trust the will of God for my life.
right now kahit mahirap gawin yung parang di ka nag-iisip ng malalim tungkol dun, i just want to rest in the Lord's loving promises, "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jer. 29:11 NLT)
i need to keep myself reminded to see the whole mural painting and not on the little white spot.
God is great. i love the Lord so much.