Friday, November 25, 2005
it's been 2 weeks since we had our interesting pre-mock boards at the review center. i can say that many things have changed and new priorities were set - fulfill what i really want to achieve in life following what God has purposed in me. i longed for this kind of stress, a healthy one, and i indeed got what i asked for...ayan tuloy. pero ayos lang. it was very tiring though most of the time i wake up late coz our class are usually scheduled in the afternoon...mentally tiring as a matter of fact. my communication and involvement with church activities have lessened; i miss them already. i miss hanging out without nothing much to think about. so far, yun pa lang yung mga bagay na napansin kong malaki ang impact sa akin.
once in a while, i needed to be refocused so as to get serious again with my current goal - and that is to finish the board exam with flying colors. hmmm, i don't know with you people, but, i guess i'm still in the adjustment phase wherein i had to manage my time well in terms of......aha! like this one, blogging, surfing, watching tv. actually, my tv viewing has reduced a bit, di ko na napapanood yung mga shows that i religiously used to watch (whatever happened to clark in smallville?!!).
one thing that must always be plugged in my memory is the other word for DISCIPLINE. according to one of our lecturers, it is synonymous with CONSISTENCY. give it a thought guys. what d'ya think, isn't it true? you can resist yourself from watching tv or surfing the net but c'mon, it takes a huge dose of consistency so it won't defeat the definition of discipline. i do need a gigantic amount of discipline!!! that's something i lack during my school days...and now i'm on my final phase of this "pagsusunog ng kilay" roller coaster ride, i think kailangan ko na 'tong panindigan. pramis.
man, i get tired easily! naninibago lang siguro katawan ko. my dad's been telling me not to attend muna other activities that are church-related. di ko kayang i-let go. number 1, most sundays i'm not that available to attend our service and so i tend to miss the opportunity to be fed of God's Word. and number 2, dun sa ibang activities na lang ako nakakabawi. say for example yung youth leaders monday night out. whenever we have praise & worship, dun lang ako bumabawi kasi nga i wasn't around during the sunday service. and lastly the music practice every saturday night. i CANNOT obliterate that in my list...nah-uh. music for the Lord is my passion, and that will be the only time where i can mingle with my friends and sing for my Father with other people who also have the burning desire to serve Him through music.
so there. grievances ba ito? hindi naman. i am enjoying my review classes BIG TIME. the lecturers make every topic to be worth listening to, and easy to be absorbed. siyempre, dapat board-sensitive ang outline. i'm having fun, but i gotta make it more interesting everytime i step my foot inside my room, flip the pages of my notebook, and train myself to answer the questionnaires from my reviewer books.
"My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart,
and my portion for ever."
Psalms 73:26 (KJV)
God's servant blogged @ | 8:48 PM
Thursday, November 17, 2005
from the very first time that i heard this song, it surely made a spark in my heart. credits to A.K.A. taba for burning me a cd with these kind of love songs for the Lord.
it's not an accident why in my early age i got to know Christ and accepted Him as my personal Lord & Savior; that i grew up and always seeing my parents and other people in the church making God as the center of their lives; that at an innocent phase of my life i came to understand that Jesus is the reason why i am here on earth...
...that living to know Christ more and more is the best part of my life every single day.
Everything To Me
Avalon
I grew up in sunday school
I memorized the Golden rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me
And I don't know what to say
But i'll never be the same
Because he changed my life when He became...
Everything to me
He's more than a story
More than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything, everything to me
We're living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that i'm aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
Now everyday I'm praying
Just to give my heart away
I want live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that he is...
Everything to me
He's more than a story
More than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breathe
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything
And looking back over my life at the end
I'll go to meet you saying you've been...
Lord, you're everything to me
...and He really is (",)
God's servant blogged @ | 4:17 PM
Friday, November 11, 2005
first day na first day pa lang ng official review class namin eh cancelled kaagad! tsk tsk...
yesterday was our orientation and PRE-MOCK BOARDS EXAM. it was cool to see friends from different schools you've met during your internship, the genuine smiles and warm greetings came across our faces. we're about 50 reviewees in our batch, including few PT grads. the ambience is similar to the one in classroom, but with a whole new different perspective and set of classmates. it's kinda crowded so tomorrow we gotta be early and make sure take the target chair to absorb well the lectures.
the first exam (as if!) we took was a big joke. really a big one, with a touch of memory from 5th year when we were taking our grand written revalida exam. 100 items on anatomy, physiology & kinesiology; 100 items on med/surg conditions; and 88 items (may butal pa) for OT applications. they should've distributed first the OT apps exam because it has situational questions that made my mind really work. the former 2 exams given out were purely trivial to the point of me having no recollection of those topics. those were 3rd year topics, for millipede's sake!!! i thought we're going to return the questionnaires and so i pushed myself to take a look at all questions, hoping to recall them once i get home and scan it in my books; only to realize at the quarter to the end of exam that we're about to bring them home actually!
ugh, i feel awful. worn out kaagad ang beauty ko. natoxic ng basta-basta pero wala namang naisagot na matino. ayoko ng ganung feeling. parang walang binatbat mga shineyd ko. kaya naririnig ko mga batchmates ko (from UST) na nagtatawanan na lang at nag-e-MP3 sa likod ko. sayang yung mga oras na inilaan ko, sa totoo lang. ang detailed kasi masyado nung questions, kamusta naman yun? chine-check lang naman kung may natitira lang somewhere sa functioning brain namin ang mga bagay na yun. kaya nga pre-mock eh. di ko pa naman sinusuyod yung mga ka-batch ko sa review, but, wala akong nakitang consolation na gwapo man lang! haha... sorry, wala muna sa mga interes ko ang mga bagay na yan. mga cute boys, tsupi! hihihi...
now that i have in my possession the questionnaires, at least i can rest on the fact that i have the luxury to research on the answers, following the exact phrasing of the questions. yipee! yuck, ang babaw!
so ayun, supposedly may class kami this 1pm, kinansel ng kung sinuman dun sa review center, baka yung lecturer, tinamad sa frustration sa pre-mock. haha! whether the answer sheets had shades or none, we still passed it. after all, wala namang grades kaming inaantabay. siyempre it doesn't mean di na namin kakaririn ang review. DI NOH! my dad told me that i should always say this to myself with a no-retreat conviction, "TODO NA 'TO!!!" haha! Feb 7 & 8 are the very important dates to remember in a current OT/PT reviewee...and always put in mind that time flies so fast, so make every hour meaningful and loaded... :)
"He prayed, 'O Lord, God of Israel, there is no God like you in all of heaven and earth. You keep your promises and show unfailing love to all who obey you and are eager to do your will..."
2 Chronicles 6:14
God's servant blogged @ | 1:20 PM
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
goodbye laid-back moments.goodbye happy-go-lucky gimiks with college friends.goodbye hours of daydreaming and think about nothing.goodbye midnight net surfing.goodbye hour-long conversations on the phone (unless necessary)goodbye spontaneous plans.goodbye hours of tv viewing.goodbye...
for now.
the clock is ticking. it's like i'm gonna be receiving instructions from my bed not to lie on it for more than 7 hours. my study table is calling me home. ohhh, i feel relieved because i'm going to be back at my true self - the one that i have envisioned myself for several months now. recently, i'v turned on my laid-back nature and i'm pretty sure it worsened, too bad. 95% of the time i've been waking up past 10am; and 50% of the time waking up before 2pm. i also experienced having my sleeping cycle altered - catching 40 winks around 6am and disengaging from slumber by 2pm. with that notion, i still get 8 hours of sleep; but c'mon, it's not worth recommending for. it's like i was on the verge of system breakdown. i did not cope well with that proposed habit and so i went back to my old and more normal pattern of living. i cannot imagine myself i've thought about those weird stuffs. and though i was still able to do my house chores, i felt that i could've done much better things - that bites my conscience a bit. a week before the review, my parents are starting to condition my lifestyle into a more purposeful and sensible one. they began instructing me (and hey, there's wisdom on it!) that i should be reassessing my priorities and responsibilities. it's gonna be difficult though, coz i probably won't be that too visible unlike the past months in our church activities. my commitment will always be the same to my ministry but i've already talked to my leaders and they told me that God knows my heart...He knows i must concentrate with my boards. one thing that must remain is my intimacy with the Lord. my class is only 1-5pm; i got lots of time to review at home and certainly there's an enough time to spend devotion with Him. there's no excuse for me to grow deeper in the Lord even if my schedule is gonna be hugely different from my bum days.another phase...
another challenge...
another opportunity to be faithful and mature in the eyes of Christ.
God's servant blogged @ | 3:41 PM
Monday, November 07, 2005
blessings are starting to flow even in the midst of my thorny undertakings in life. i can never thank the Lord enough for everything that He's manifesting in me. He is making a huge impact in my life every single day and i am definitely assured that God will make my path straight, if only i will continue to be faithful in serving and being intimate with Him. He didn't say that it will be smooth though, but His promise to never forsake or even take His glimpse off of us...comforts me.there are so many blessings to share to you guys but since some...well...are quite confidential FOR NOW, let me just mention one blessing that was showered to me by my Lord. :)God blessed me to re-establish my relationship with a very close friend of mine, this person's like a family to me. during the absence of our blissful & hilarious companionship, the Lord has taught me several things that i know i must change so that i can move on and be mature in His likeness. it's very difficult to accept the truth because i felt that my ego is being "crushed" since i don't wanna put up the white flag anytime soon yet. no way, jose! but then, if i want to be consumed for the glory of our Lord, i must submit to the breaking...molding...consecration - to become a pure and anointed vessel that is fit for the Master's use. we're both in the same ministry and though i can already tolerate the presence of that person, i still can't find peace within because i felt that i cannot serve Christ with a half-baked heart; and the fact that i want to get this petty conflict be dismissed & forgotten once and for all.i was being so paranoid that negative thoughts came rushing through my mind. i kept on assuming things that could worsen the situation. well thankfully, God didn't let that happen. He used my friends to help me straighten things out with this person peacefully and with all humility. now, we're trying to pick-up what we've left off and once again be comfortable with each other in terms of conversing or making fun of each other. i know in time, everything will be the same again.
God's servant blogged @ | 11:24 PM
